Starting Over

by Anita Miles

“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom."

‭Psalm‬ ‭90‬:‭12‬

To the people who are in my inner circle and know my quirks well, I’m not exactly known for following trends.  Traditions, familiarity, and comfort are preferred, so it usually takes some convincing before I jump in.  There’s a need to see if some things wear well.  My aunt would say that’s the “old soul” within me.  And that philosophy is just fine…  

That being said, I’m quite the fan of January 1st, because it always seems to be a mental fresh start.  Like the slate gets wiped clean and there’s the chance to try again.  It's a time to reflect on what went well over the past year and what DIDN’T go so smoothly.  Although I’m not up for trend-setting or following the latest thing - I have become a huge fan of establishing a “Word of the Year” instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions.  Although its effects haven’t necessarily been earth shattering to the visual eye of others, I can point to moments that having a theme for the year has helped decision making to become easier.  Even if it was just changing how I thought about a matter.  

A few years ago, I ran across a quote that I wrote down to intentionally reduce the amount of noise that was creating turbulence that I felt deeply in my soul.   The quote went something like this…”Decide what kind of life you actually want.  Then say no to everything that isn’t that…”  I have no idea who wrote it, but if I did, I’d hug their neck.  They changed the way I prioritized my time, the amount of commitments that I made, and how ragged I was willing to allow myself to feel for wanting to be everything to everyone all the time.  As a matter of fact, not long ago on a trip with my daughter, she commented that she was really happy that our lives were not as busy as they used to be. And we’re still not ‘sit at home and twiddle our thumbs’ kind of people… There was an intentional shift and it was noticeable to her in a good way.  It wasn’t an excuse to become selfish, because that’s not the end goal.  But it opened the door for life experiences that were valuable to us as a family and allowed more time to focus on the relationships that I wanted to hone.  Seems like a simple fix - but I assure you - it is NOT!!    

With that idea in mind, the word I chose last year was “Less.” I wanted less things, less stress, less busy to create more memories with my family and give space for more fulfillment in things that mattered to my soul.  

This year I’ve chosen the word, “Order.”  The reason I’ve chosen that word is because halfway through the year last year, we sold our property that we worked tirelessly to create because we needed to be closer to our jobs.  Each member of our family wanted less time on the road every day - to and from work.  We wanted to utilize our time better.   With that move, came lots of chaos… an unsettling of sorts, but it was a good move for our family.   So this year, to accommodate all of those changes - my goal is to recreate order in my life.   I want to focus more on time management and creating order in many areas of my life.  Consistent meal planning and creating a will for our family is also on my list.  

I’ve said all that to get to this point… As women, starting a new year usually comes with all sorts of resolutions.  According to Google, and their surveys, the top 3 resolutions set this year were: 

Exercising more, 

Saving more money, and

Eating healthier.  

In  that order.  That being said, also according to Google, New Year’s resolutions, on average, last about 4 months.  

For that reason, I have grown to appreciate the value of choosing a theme for the year as opposed to a resolution.  Because failed resolutions can feel deflating.  A word for the year is more about intention than perfection in achieving a goal.   It changes mentality and how you think about what you’re wanting out of life.  And sometimes that intentionality may take a few years to get you where you want to go.  

A couple years ago, I discussed this concept with a group of older women in our church.  When I challenged them to think about a word that they could use for the year to help them find some direction / intentionality in their lives, I felt like I was internally being met with a bit of skepticism at its power or possibilities.  One of the oldest women in the room took me up on the challenge and through the next week decided that her word for the year would be “Continue.”   She would testify later that she had no idea how she would come back to that word.  In the year that followed, she was met with personal health challenges and a son who was diagnosed with a terminal illness that would eventually claim his life.  In the midst of all of those things, through the word that she felt God whispered to her for that year, she will still tell you that God met her and gave her the strength to “continue” even when she wasn’t sure where the strength would come from. 

It’s only the middle of January.  And I’m challenging you who have taken the time to read these words to reflect and see what place God might cause you to be intentional in.  The race of life is not won by the swiftest.  But it’s to those who endure.  At the heart of it, choosing a word or a theme to guide your year is an act of listening.  It begs the question, “Lord, what do You desire to cultivate in me in this season I find myself?”   Sometimes this intentionality reveals a place or area where God wants to heal us, refine, or renew our faith.  And sometimes it’s less about doing and more about becoming still.  

Once you’ve chosen your theme / word, make sure you write it down so that it’s not easily forgotten.  Meditate on it and allow God to redefine what it means to you as the year unfolds.  

It’s pretty wild how sometimes God uses just one word to gently transform an entire year… and as He does it, he transforms us in the process. 

So I’d love to know…  Is this something you’ve done before?  Do you choose a word for the year?  If so, I’d love to hear how God is using this to transform your thought life and renewing your mind.   

Happy New Year, Friend!